Last week, I branched off into a different area of leadership: marriage. After being married for over 40 years, I can truly say that I am more in love now with my wife than I ever have been before! And it’s these seven tips that have really helped that become a truth in my life. I hope they will empower your marriage as well.
- Give your spouse a gift on an ordinary day. While I recommend going through the 5 Love Languages, the honest truth is that all of the love languages are important. While you should definitely focus a lot of your time on the language your spouse needs to receives, go ahead and mix it up every once in a while! Show your love in a new way. Keep them guessing. This is why I love to surprise Becky with gifts out of the blue. Anniversaries and birthdays are a given. But Tuesday just because you thought of them? That’s something that will stick with your spouse for a while.
- Back up your spouse in front of the children. After dinner tonight, give your spouse a hug. Don’t let go right away. Let your children see you! Turn some music and let your kids watch you dance. Young children will try to get between you—always let them get between you. It’s important for both your children and your spouse that you have your spouse’s back. Not only does it show your children how to have a strong marriage, but your spouse will feel secure in your love. If there is shame or hurt in that area, make sure you work on it. Physical displays of affection might be uncomfortable in public, but your home should be a safe and loving place.[tweetthis display_mode=”box”] It’s important for both your children and your spouse that you have your spouse’s back. [/tweetthis]
- Keep arguments with your spouse private. Here’s a story. When Donna found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. But her 4-year-old son overheard some of his parents’ private conversations. One day, when Donna and her 4-year-old were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. “Yes!” the 4-year-old said, “and I know what we are going to name it, too. If it’s a girl we’re going to call her Christina, and if it’s another boy we’re going to call it quits!” Your kids will absorb, to some degree, everything you say in front of them. When asked what they learned about their parents’ marriage, a couple of children responded with these answers:
- “I’ve learned that when mommy and daddy shout at each other it scares me.” — age 5
- “I’ve learned that it always makes me feel good to see my parents holding hands” — age 13
Your children and your spouse need to have this form of protection. You can show your spouse you love them by allowing these arguments to take place in the proper time and place. Don’t be explosive. When it comes to your children, you and your spouse should always operate as a team.
- Put your spouse first. After reading a book called “Man of the House” during his commute home from work, the enlightened husband stormed into the house to confront his wife. Pointing his finger in her face, he said, “From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law. Tonight you are to prepare me a gourmet meal and a sumptuous dessert. Then, when I’m done eating, you’re going to draw me a bath so I can have a relaxing soak. And when I’m finished with my bath, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”His wife responded, “My guess is the funeral director.” Turns out, that’s not how marriage works! Instead, as the Bible says, we need to respect and love each other. There’s no better way to show your spouse you love them than to put them first. Last cookie on the plate? Let them have it. Wife had a hard day? Instead of going about your own relaxation routine, draw her a bath first. There are a million ways to show your spouse you love them when you put their needs before your own!
Ever since Adam and Eve started things off, we as people have been working hard to have successful marriages. I hope that your marriage is blessed by these 7 tips!
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