05 Oct Leadership Starts in the Home: The Importance of Emotional Bonds
Leadership starts in the home. From the very beginning of a person’s life, they are subconsciously learning lessons about leadership from their parents. It’s been on my heart for a while now to start blogging seriously about leadership—and that includes a little bit of parenting.
A young boy was being challenged with his work at school, so they put him in a slower class. He began to do just great. He would ask his dad to help him with his homework, but his dad never could because he had to catch up on his work when he got home. Every night, he worked from seven until ten in his study. So the boy went to his mother and said, “Tell me again why Dad can’t help me.”
His mother said, “He has so much work that he has to catch up at night.”
The young boy said, “I have the answer! They just need to put dad in a slower class!”
If only it were that simple. It’s hard work to bond with your kinds.
An Emotional Disconnect: I was taken aback by the reaction of some of the national television anchors during the reporting of Columbine. A news anchorman was doing an interview with me, and during the break between segments, began to cry. Through his tears, he said, “Pastor, will you pray for me?”
I said, “Sure I’ll pray for you. What would you like prayer for?”
“Pastor, I want you to know that I’m scared right now. I know I haven’t been the father I need to be. When you were talking about that on the air a minute ago, it just hit me right in the heart. I need you to pray for me.”
A great emotional disconnection has taken place in this country. Parents, fathers especially, have refused to get emotionally involved with their kids. One of the most important things you as parents can do is to make sure that you are in a loving relationship with your spouse and that you are emotionally connecting with your teenagers!
There must be a spiritual and emotional bond between you and your children. We cannot stick our heads in the sand. We must recognize the influences that are attacking our children.
It is time that we rise up in this country and discontinue being immature adults. We must start loving our children correctly; we must invest the time, emotional love, and energy that we need to. Doing so will prevent the things we have seen happening in this country. A good goal for us is to love like God loves.
I found this quote somewhere, and have always really believed its truth.
A child that lives with criticism learns to condemn.
A child that lives with hostility learns to fight.
A child that lives with ridicule learns to be shy.
A child that lives with shame learns to be guilty.
A child that lives with affection learns to love
A child that lives withtolerance learns to be patient.
A child that lives with encouragement learns confidence.
A child that lives with praise learns to appreciate.
A child that lives with security learns faith.
A child that lives with approval learns to like herself.
A child that lives with acceptance learns to find approval.
Fathers: A research study found that the impact of fathers who spend time with their children is immense. Those children are:
- More confident and less anxious in unfamiliar settings
- Better able to deal with frustration
- Better able to gain a sense of interdependence
- More likely to mature into compassionate adults
- More likely to have higher self esteem
- More likely to have higher grade point averages
- More sociable
The Home: Rules without deep emotional attachment will only cause rebellion. Children need a loving bond and an intimate connection if we want relationships where kids can grow and mature. Then and only then will we have a platform to pass on noble values of character and build a barrier to violence. You can teach your kids the value of human life by showing them that you value their life.
How have your parents impacted your leadership style?
Join me every Monday for lessons on business and leadership!